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Sensual Massage
 by Pamela Ramey-Tatum

It is thought by some that we, as a culture, are starved for human touch. Our cravings for food, money and material things might be masking the need for more touch, intimacy and even sexual bonding. Even those of us in healthy fulfilling relationships can increase our intimacy and strengthen our bonds if we take more time to touch each other in a truly loving way. Combining loving touch and sexuality is also very healing and nurturing for us as individuals and for our relationship.

One way to increase your time spent touching is to actually schedule time to give each other a sensual massage. This is a wonderful experience because it's about just giving and experiencing pleasure. It doesn't have to be about intercourse, performance or orgasm--although it's certainly fine if it leads there. It's a good idea to set aside any expectations and let the experience unfold naturally. It may end up being fun, funny and playful. It may turn very romantic and sexy. It may be erotic. Don't judge it.

Here are some tips on how to get the most out of your Sensual Massage experience with your partner:

  1. Set aside time--at least 45 minutes or an hour--so that you can go slowly

  2. Set a sacred space of a surrounding that will support what you're doing.

  3. Take your time: massage the arms, legs, fingers, toes, earlobes. Let no part of the body go untouched. Start with the extremities, though. Refrain from going directly to the genitals.

  4. Vary your touch. Use a light, feathery touch then go for a deeper, kneading stroke.

  5. Think about creating heightened sensation in your lover's body.

  6. Accentuate the sexual energy as it arises and unfolds by beginning to massage the erotic zones.

  7. Develop a vocabulary to communicate with your partner about what you like.

  8. Ask your partner what feels good; if they would like more of this, or that, etc. Communicate when you are receiving what feels good to you.

  9. Take your partner to the brink of orgasm several times before taking him or her all the way there. In between, feed him a chocolate covered cherry, or fondue. By doing this, the experience will be much more fulfilling and the eventual orgasm much more intense.

  10. Remind your partner to breathe deeply. Slowing down the breathing can delay orgasm. In fact, slow down the breath and bring the sexual energy up through the chakras, either to the heart or all the way up to the crown. Allow that sexual energy to flow throughout your whole body.

  11. You may want to use scarves, feathers, food, fur, fabrics to heighten the bodily sensations and create more a sense of fun and mystery.

The most important thing is not to rush and to honor and serve each other's desires. Make the object simply to make your partner feel as wonderful as possible. There is no rule here that says the receiver can't touch the giver either. Have fun and be in the moment. If we all take time to give sensual massages to our partners, maybe we would feel more connected sexually, more deeply touched, and more satisfied in our relationships. Who knows what magic can happen if we deepen our bond by taking the time to touch our lover in this sensual way. It might open up a whole new world.

Pamela is a Relationship & Laws of Attraction Coach, Workshop Facilitator and Author. She works with people who desire to live more consciously, to live from their hearts and to become more fully who they are. She specializes in working with people who are ready have the relationship of their heart's desire. To schedule a coaching session, visit www. empoweringlove.com or email Pamela at pamela@empoweringlove.com ATTRACT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, NOW! Contact the author, Pamela Ramey-Tatum , at pamela@empoweringlove.com
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